


Underneath it all

by PollyWeasley



Series: Savages [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha Harry, Flashback, How everything started, Intersex Draco, It has no smut, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Mpreg, Omega Draco, Prequel, Puberty, Self-Harm, University, a/b/o dynamics, also the self-harm part is minimal but descriptive, biological changes, it happens before Savages, it has a "present" ending, mentioned Harry/Luna, slight angst, tagged mature for description of said changes, teenager Draco, think of it as something kind of medical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 12:19:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17406803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PollyWeasley/pseuds/PollyWeasley
Summary: At fourteen, Draco started to change. Not into an Alpha, as his father expected, but into an Omega, like most of his family. Decided not to live as expected for an Omega - be submisse and have babies - Draco makes up his mind: He's going to live in the human world and forget all about the wolf inside him.He wasn't counting on meeting Harry Potter and falling in love with him.





	Underneath it all

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are with another part of this series. It is not fluffy or happy or cute like the last ones, but I've started it a long time ago and now it is ready to be published. I hope you like it. Also, it hasn't been beta'd, so please excuse my errors.

 

Draco was, once again, locked in the bathroom. He was thankful for having a suite and being able to spend as much time as he wanted locked in there and no one would knock, ask him to leave or question his reasons. Besides, his mother was the only one who came into his bedroom and she knew what he was going through. He was sitting on the floor of the shower stall, a mirror between his legs, watching the progress of his transformation.

He had always been a normal wolf. His father expected him to become an alpha. He even spread the word to anyone who wanted to hear that Draco was going to be one of the strongest alphas in the pack. In fact, he had the manners, the look, the long haughty body, but two weeks ago, when he reached puberty, his father looked at him in disappointment as his scent began to change, not of an alpha, but rather of an omega. Just like his mother, his mother's mother, her mother's mother, and so on. There was not a single alpha man in his family, all betas, a few omegas, but none with that grandeur with which his father referred to them. It was not surprising that Draco was an omega, actually. They only hoped he wouldn’t be.

Now he watched his body in disgust. His knees were bleeding from cuts he himself had made to disguise the scent of blood from the transformation. God, that was ugly. In the mirror, he could see his flaccid penis lying on his belly, the scrotal sac, before filled with his testicles, withered and opening into a crevice in the middle. From this crevice, one could see a small hole, blocked by a nearly transparent film of skin with a smaller hole in the middle. From this crevice was coming a small amount of blood, and it ached, for it opened something that had been previously closed. When he touched the sides, where the scrotal sac joined the skin forming large lips, he could feel the cavity where his testicles now stood. Within a few weeks, everything would be in its perfect place, it would only bleed once a month - _hell!_ \- and he would have the perfect adult body to procreate, be it with a beta or an alpha, or a more submissive omega.

Because according to his mother, it didn’t matter his personality. On full moon days, the sexual apex, he would be completely passive. Draco hated to think about it. He hated to think that his body betrayed him that way, that he would be obliged to submit, that he would be obliged to accept the passivity imposed by his genetics.

He lowered the mirror, closing his legs and watching the blood staining the immaculate floor of his bathroom. He couldn’t stay in the pack. He closed his eyes, feeling them burn with tears. He would have to stay away from his parents, he would have to stay away from everything he knew and loved, but that was the only way. It was the only way to stay safe, to be a person beyond his role as the voiceless creature that was an omega.

They said that, to be omega, was to understand in depth all the functioning of a wolf. It was to be able to generate life, either way. Be able to care and be cared for. To have within themselves the delicacy and patience that the other wolves didn’t have. But Draco knew what being omega REALLY meant: passivity, submission, slavery. The poor omegas were servants, cleaners, nannies, all the jobs few would want to have. The rich omegas were even more ignored than the poor, because in the absence of work, what remained was only the objective of having puppies. Draco really didn’t want to be just a procreation doll. He had ideas, dreams. He wanted to learn more, to discover more, to travel, to know...

He rose from the floor with an idea formed in his head. He would do it anyway. He finished his shower, washing himself as hard as he could to disguise the smell of blood - using the soap with as much foam as he could, since most wolves didn’t like the artificial smell of the soap. He wore his underwear, made exactly to accommodate his new forming anatomy, placing an absorbent pad on it before dressing it. God, it was so shameful to wear it... It was so shameful to feel the fluffy material touching his body, to know that he used it because he had that deformed part that bled and pained him and left him in the most terrible situation. To disguise the smell further, he took out a razor blade and began to scrape his knees even more, biting his lips hard as he cut off small pieces of skin. When it was finished, blood ran down his legs towards his feet, but he just wiped it with a toilet paper, putting on medicine to clean the cut and prevent infection, putting bandages on it and getting up, walking towards the sink.

He washed his shaver blade, and then he looked at himself in the mirror. His cheeks were stained with tears, and he watched his red eyes for a few seconds, before cleaning himself, storing all the objects back in their home places, and going into the bedroom. He put on a completely black outfit, fit for what he felt at that time.

He had always been vain, and it wasn’t because he was going through one of the worst moments of his life that he would let it go. In fact, he needed it even more now. He took care of his hair, combed it, and put each thread in place. He put his family ring on his finger and looked at himself in the mirror. He was tall, with a beautiful bone structure, square shoulders, long, well-made limbs. The perfect alpha. And yet, that part of his body betrayed him constantly, made him remember every day that he would never be what he should be.

The decision became more and more precise in his mind, better formed. When he left his own room, his father was in the office, as usual, but his mother was having tea near one of the windows of the Manor. Draco was always surprised by the beauty of his mother, and the smell that always calmed him down. It was a scent of flowers, soft, not too strong as his father's scent, not too sweet, like the odor of virgin omegas. No... His mother's scent was a scent that made him want to lie on her lap and receive affection until the world ceased to be a world. It was a scent he always associated with his mother, with kindness, with love.

It had been the longest conversation of his life, and the most difficult, even if his first words had lasted only a few seconds.

“Mum... I want to leave.”

 

-x-x-x-

 

His aunt's house was in a suburban area near London. It was a medium-sized house, cosy and old. He could smell that odour of omelette in the house, a smell of family, of affection, as well as the smell of his mother, and then he was calm. His aunt had fled the pack to marry a human, and was no longer well seen within the circle of wolves, especially when her daughter, a beta with a tendency to rebellion, married a ‘bitten’ and now had his baby. There was an even greater stigma attached to being bitten than marrying a human. A bitten was neither human nor wolf. Their transformation was involuntary, painful, and grotesque, and these people had no control over their animal form - always a middle ground between the wolf and human, so they were called ‘werewolves’. Wolves were wolves. Werewolves, on the other hand, were unacceptable, both by wolves and humans.

Fortunately, Nymphadora, her husband and her baby didn’t live with Andromeda, and her aunt's husband had died a few years ago, leaving only the two of them in the house. As soon as he entered the house, he was greeted by a comfortable hug and a smile that reminded him of his mother. Andromeda had black hair like his Aunt Bella's, but her eyes and smile were much closer to Narcissa's, and her embrace almost as delicious as his mother’s. He couldn’t help but think of the bad decisions she had made, but fortunately he didn’t need to think about it too much. Ted Tonks was dead, his daughter living anywhere else with the werewolf and the baby, and he had a bedroom with the window viewing the forest.

His parents sent them a considerable amount of money so that his aunt could support him with everything he always had in his house. Draco had only the best, and when he finally got into a formal school, he had no trouble keeping up his classmates. His tutors in the pack were great, and prepared him for life outside the village perfectly. He was by far the best of the class and finished his studies with high marks, but the truth is that he never managed to get in touch with any human. He had classmates, with whom he talked in class or at intervals, but when he returned home, it was just him and his Aunt Andy, reading a book or talking while drinking cups of tea.

He had to admit, however, that living with humans has changed him in many ways. Even if he returned once a month to the pack - out of the breeding season, of course - he could already see a few reasons why his aunt decided to marry a human. They didn’t have the millenary tradition of wolves, nor strength, nor instinct, nor smell nor magic, but they were dedicated and determined. Humans lived little, and this made them even more efficient. They went all the way because they had little time to waste. Gradually, Draco grew used to them, and even came to like this unbridled rhythm that humans carried throughout their lives.

When Draco reached adulthood, he didn’t want to go back to the pack. He didn’t like his leader - Riddle, an alpha wolf who had formed a bond with his family's only alpha, Bellatrix, his mother's elder sister - and didn’t like the way his position would be dealt with. He tried to convince his mother to get out of there several times while his father was away, but she was too used to being a submissive omega. It was strange to think about it. His mother felt like she was an incomplete omega. It was rare for a well-bred omega to have only one puppy, but apparently Black women had a problem. Both Narcissa and Andromeda had only one baby. Bellatrix had had none, but being an alpha, no one was really sure. Alpha women were born as omegas and betas, but during puberty they also changed. Their clit stretched and formed a penis, so they could breed with anyone, alpha, beta, or omega, of their interest. So it was possible that Bella had her bastards here and there. No one could know for sure.

The fact was that his mother always thought his father was doing her a favour by taking care of her, as if she wasn’t worth the effort. She had already been conditioned to think like a rich omega, and that was precisely why Draco had fled. He fled from this part of himself and denied anything that reminded him of this world. He didn’t eat meat, he didn’t have sex – especially because his only option was with humans and how to explain that he had two reproductive organs? He didn’t even date or flirt. The breeding season was torture when it came to sexual desire, and soon Draco began collecting vibrators, dildos, videos of all kinds and a wonderful imagination. He couldn’t say that he was a virgin - he himself broke his hymen with a vibrator - but he had never slept with anyone. He hoped this would suppress his desire to submit, albeit in his imagination, on the worst days, he always dreamed of a big, strong, powerful alpha taking him in every possible way. When the week was over, he felt terrible about it, and embarrassed, but his pleasure was too much for him to stop on the next full moon. He would also never transform into his wolf skin, even when the will was immense and the moon as full as possible.

Keeping the wolf inside him, in a corner where only he could get, seemed the best option. It was the only way to live under his own rules and wishes. Draco would never submit, would never be used by his own instincts.

In the breeding season – every full moon - their scent was stronger to attract a mate. He was barely able to control himself, but he acted like the boy who was always quiet in class. Humans suffered little influence from their pheromones, though they were more sympathetic and courteous to him during this period, so Draco didn’t care about any of them duelling to show which was the most capable of procreating. Wolves were extremely monogamous, possessive and jealous - one more reason why he wasn’t interested in playing around - but they were also very lustful, and Draco needed all his willpower not to succumb.

That's until he enrols on a university. He decided on History with a specialization in Anthropology, since he had a vast knowledge of ancient civilizations - he was part of one, after all - and he loved history and ancient books, as well as solving mysteries. Classes were relatively short compared to the other courses, and he felt comfortable and safe... At least until the third year of school.

Draco was in the classroom, writing something the teacher had copied on the board, when the world's most delicious scent invaded his trained nostrils. It was a scent like he had never felt before. Something masculine, citrusy, but mixed with earthy tones; something like freshly cut grass and sweat. It was such a delicious scent that he felt his heart race and he had to lift his head to know who had that wonderful smell. It was from a young man, who appeared to be the same age as him, who came in somewhat awkwardly into the room. He had a strong body, with muscles of a person who practiced some sport. Curly hair that Draco could only compare with a nest on his head, glasses that didn’t disguise the incredible shade of green behind the lenses and a bizarre lightning-shaped scar on his forehead. The man looked up, looking right in Draco's direction and took a deep breath, as if he could smell him from where he was.

The bloke sat down beside him, as if he wasn’t doing anything, and smiled in greeting. Draco didn’t greet him back. He wasn’t really sociable, so he didn’t want to make room for him to lean on him like other colleagues had done before. He looked up at him, noting how badly he dressed. Old leather boots, shabby jeans and flannel shirt. Not to mention the hair. Had Draco said anything about the hair? Surely it hadn’t seen a comb for a millennia.

“My name is Potter. Harry Potter.” The stranger said, holding out a hand as if he hadn’t realised Draco had ignored him.

“Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.” The blonde said, and instead of squeezing his hand, he ignored it once more. Potter seemed to notice it now and turned, seriously and awkwardly. Draco was almost sorry, but what could he do? He couldn’t just make friends with humans. He was going to be more of a traitor like his aunt. Not that it mattered anymore at this point, but Draco clung to any reason not to socialize.

He spent a few days ignoring Potter. Besides that subject, the boy had two others with him, and he always found a way to talk to Draco. Whether it was to borrow a rubber, or to ask if he had written down what the previous week's work was, or simply to ask how he was feeling. Draco tried to resist, but the truth was that even if Potter was awkward, if he dressed like a farm boy and didn’t know about the existence of hair products, he was adorable. His smile was beautiful to begin with. His voice was good to hear, and he was so absurdly _hot_ that Draco could feel his warmth whenever they sat next. Not to mention his scent. The closer the days to the Full Moon, the more the man's scent became intense, the more delicious he was in Draco's eyes. Potter also seemed to feel it, but he didn’t act on it more than he had done every day, which was to be expected. He obviously acted as if he were drawn, but he didn’t push, and that made Draco want to give in.

Little by little, he decided to let himself be friends with Potter. He let himself receive those smiles, talked to him during college luncheons, worked together, and even make plans about what they could do when they left college. Harry was the one who suggested that they join in a society, since each of them had their strengths and weaknesses in the area. Draco agreed. Yes, he was human... But something in Harry Potter drew him so deeply that Draco almost, almost forgot who he really was. _Omega_.

For months, Draco stayed close to Potter. The full moons were getting harder to control because he remembered Harry, and felt like being with him, giving in, _giving in_. But then the next would come, and Draco would remember why he couldn’t.

Well, this… until Potter invited him to a party. Draco didn’t think much about this party, being honest. The truth was that he was so in love with Potter at that moment that he didn’t want to refuse to be close to the man. Maybe even kissing, who knows? Draco could afford that. He, who was a pureblood, coming from a powerful and rich family in the wolf world, was really in love with a human. He laughed at himself as he changed into his clothes, dressed all in black for the occasion.

The club wasn’t a very crowded place. He knew that Potter and his friends would be there, and that there would be loud music and drinks. Although he didn’t like it much, seeing Potter smile at him as if he were the most wonderful thing in the world, it was enough for Draco to forget the unease of being there. He met Potter's best friends: Hermione Granger, who was doing History in a period ahead of theirs. She had thick, brown hair, which was more or less contained in a braid, incredibly brown and alert eyes. She wore braces, which made her look like an ugly duckling. Beside her was her boyfriend, Ron Weasley. He kept touching his girlfriend on the shoulders or face, which she seemed to find funny and didn’t move away. He was very tall, had a pointy nose and hair so red that reflected the lights of the bar.

These two were Potter's spiritual brothers, but Draco didn’t pay much attention to them other than the initial ‘Hi, my name is Draco Malfoy’. Beside them was a blonde girl, who introduced herself as Luna Lovegood. She was beautiful, with long, blond, wavy hair, intense blue eyes, and airy feeling. According to the conversation, she had already finished Physics and was majoring in Astronomy. Finally, there was another boy, Neville Longbottom. He was blond, kind of chubby and scared. Draco was sure he had seen him before, but he didn’t know where. It didn’t interest him to ask what he was studying.

The night passed, and Draco felt warmer and warmer. Looking at his watch, he cursed. He hadn’t noticed it was Full Moon night. He had to find some way out before he threw himself at Potter.

He walked back to the bar, feeling his whole body shake with sexual desire. He got a drink and went to the terrace, where there were some tables, but they were empty. Outside, it was relatively cold, and people preferred the heat from within.

He didn’t realise that Potter had followed him, and Draco jumped a little when the man's big, warm hand touched his shoulder. Draco turned towards him, Potter's intense scent taking over his body. An overwhelming need to surrender took hold of him, and his brain screamed _alpha, alpha, alpha, alpha_.

Harry Potter was an alpha wolf.

Draco took a step back, his back pressing against the fence around the restaurant's terrace.

“Hi, Potter,” he managed to say, his legs shaking, his heart pounding too hard.

“Hey, Draco,” Potter ran a hand through his tousled hair, as if trying to say something. “I... I wanted to talk to you. Just the two of us. It was really hard to finally be alone with you. Ron and Hermione left, Luna and Neville are in the karaoke...”

“What d’you want?” Draco asked, trying to sound aggressive, but his voice failed, sounding weak and needy.

“I...” Potter licked his lips, his eyes going from Draco's eyes to his mouth and vice versa. “I... I wanted to say... You know .. I'm not good at this, but... I... I really like you. I _like_ you. Do I… Do I have a chance with you?”

With each sentence he spoke, Potter was approaching. Draco couldn’t react. His whole body screamed _yes_ , and his mind screamed _no, no!_ Because if Potter was a wolf, he would soon find out about the omega in Draco, and Draco couldn’t afford it at all.

When Potter's lips met his, Draco couldn’t resist. He gave himself to that kiss, his whole body exploding with happiness as he felt that long-awaited touch.

It didn’t last long. Soon Draco took hold of himself once more and turned away from Potter, who looked at him with love, _love_ , in his eyes. Draco was desperate. Before Potter could confess anything, he pushed him on his chest.

“Potter... I’m sorry, I... I only see you as a friend.”

Draco didn’t want to say that. He wanted to have given himself. His whole body demanded, begged for it, but Draco couldn’t just let the omega come out, especially since he now knew that Harry was an alpha... He knew Potter would have complete control over him. Maybe Harry knew he was an omega, and so he was trying to have something with him now.

Harry took a step back, his eyes losing their glow. Harry ran his hand through his hair again, and Draco felt pain, physical and emotional pain, seeing that his friend's eyes were teary.

“Okay. I... I don’t know why I thought you felt something for me, too,” Harry turned to him, trying to smile even though his eyes were so full of water that Draco knew they would leak at any minute. “But, I... I respect that. I understand you. Really. Are we still friends?”

Draco couldn’t answer. Not when Harry's cheeks were wet and he had been the cause. He nodded, and Harry smiled again, moving away quickly, wiping his cheeks with his hands.

Draco tried to convince himself that everything was fine. It was all right, even though Harry had drunk a bottle of whiskey almost entirely at once. It was all right, even though, as he was leaving the bar, Draco had seen Harry kissing Luna Lovegood, pressing her against the wall, the girl's skirt lifted to the point where Draco could see her soft, pale thigh.

That night, Draco cried to sleep. For the first time since his puberty, he had felt no sexual desire during the Full Moon. Losing the partner his body wanted had killed him a little inside.

But it was all right.

~

“Dray?” In the present day, Draco nodded, looking at Harry, who was lying next to him in the big double bed of the new house where they lived. Draco was sitting against the head of the bed, hands resting on his belly, which was much more apparent. At six months of pregnancy, he was getting tired much faster. Their babies were strong, and very active, and often Draco had to sleep in his wolf form to calm them down. “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, just... Remembering when we were in college,” the omega said, and Harry smiled, kissing him lightly on the shoulder.

“Remembering when you used to ask me for my research so you could use it to make yours?” Harry teased, and Draco smiled, turning his face and letting Harry give him a long kiss, in which he allowed himself to be lost.

“Hmm... Remembering when it was just you and me. Now we have Turi... And these four,” Draco stroked his belly, and Harry moved on the bed, kissing it.

“I wouldn’t trade what we have now for nothing in the world,” Harry said, kissing the bump of his husband's belly three more times. “I love you, and the family we built. I love those four before I even saw their faces.”

“I love you too, Harry,” Draco smiled, touching his face with affection. “Alpha.”

Harry smiled back. He got up, turned off the light, and settled Draco on the bed before lying down. That night, Draco dreamed of two wolves under the moon.

~


End file.
